I check my phone, notice the date and sigh. I'm wondering when I'll stop counting the time since she died, when the 28th of the month will be just another day. I will be both happy and sad when that happens. Right now when I can measure the time since I last talked to her in months, she still seems close. When it becomes years, or decades, she will seem so far away and that will hurt. But, I'll be happy because I will have kept living my life, which is just what she wanted me to do. She spent my whole life teaching me to be tough. I had no idea how badly I would need those lessons.
I just really want to call her. I really want to crack her up with our goofy jokes, or have her say something hilarious, which she always did. I want her advice. I want her perspective. I even want her criticism, because there was always some good lessons in that as well.
I have so much to tell her. So much has happened in 7 months. Her kids are amazing, I'm so proud of them, and she would be too. She'd be proud of all of us, I think.
I just really miss her.
Here's a kiss for you, Sue.
I am so sorry for your loss. My mom died in January and at first I was counting the days since she's been gone. Now I count the months. I wonder if we will ever stop counting?
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, Robbie. I lost my Dad in 2010 and I know I still am counting how long it has been since he passed away. Now I count mostly in years, though. So, no, I don't think we'll stop counting. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom.
DeleteI think that she is proud of all of you too !
ReplyDelete