Thursday, September 25, 2014

Thing's I've Learned as the Mom of a Teenager

I have been in complete denial about this for quite some time, but I woke up this morning and just like that there's a teenager living in my house.

I don't know what I was expecting, exactly, but I do know that from the first moment a new mom looks at her precious new baby, there is always someone (usually it's that crabby nurse) saying, "Sure, he's cute now, but wait until he becomes a TEENAGER!"

Let's stop and have a quick talk about those people, shall we? Here's the deal, the brand new mother does not need to hear about all the difficulties of raising teenagers any more than the pregnant woman needs to hear about your cousin's best friend's aunt's co-worker having the MOST HORRIFIC THING happen during childbirth.  The new mother is already freaked out enough that these hospital people are planning to make her leave with this brand new human. She can barely even hold the thing correctly, let alone grasp the idea that society dictates she take it home and care for it for the rest of her ever-loving LIFE!  So let's all make a deal to not freak out any more new mothers, mmmkay? 

Now that we have that settled, let's talk about TEENAGERS  Since I have now been the mother of a teenager for approximately 10 hours, I am obviously an expert. Teenagers are so easy! They just wake up, take a shower, and go to school.  Now I haven't had experience with a teen in the afternoon yet, so you might want to check in with me this evening to find out what that's like. But raising a teenager is a complete joy so far.

In closing, I would like to state that having a teenager is about a gazillion times easier than having a newborn.  (case in point: I had a full night of sleep last night).  Also, we need to start a movement to keep people from freaking out mothers who have new babies.  And finally, if all of the teenager-raising I have ahead of me could be as easy as the time I have made it through so far, I'd sure be grateful.



  1. I only met him once but I could tell immediately that he was an awesome 'guy.'
    Happy birthday Joe!!!

  2. You are so lucky, Andi, to have the one-and-only perfect teenager in the Universe. (Even if it is for only 10 hours so far, it's a pretty significant accomplishment.)

    I agree with you 1000% about not scaring new mothers. However, I have a thought on this. While it is very important not to scare expectant mothers unnecessarily, I think it might also be important to make sure that they have a realistic picture of the possible (and more important, probable) outcomes. What do you think about that? It is something I've puzzled over since I gave birth to my first child.

    Lots of love to you and happy birthday to your perfect 10-hour-old teenager.

  3. Amen to not freaking out new moms! Or moms of toddlers or kindergarteners, or....
    I hope Joe had a fantastic birthday. He was such a well-mannered and fun pre-teen, I can't wait to meet his teenage self. :)