Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Still Working On It

I started back into grief counseling yesterday after having taken the summer off. I almost didn't go because I've been doing pretty well and why would I want to talk about my grief when I can just not think about it?  Within the first five minutes I realized that I absolutely needed to be there.  As much as I want to be completely fine, I'm not. I am still struggling. I might still be struggling for a long time.

The act of starting over with a new counselor caused the need for me to tell my story from the beginning.  It feels like it's a movie I've seen, or that I'm describing something I witnessed happening to somebody else. I was surprised at how much I cried.

But as I walked the now familiar path back to my car after the appointment, I realized that I am no longer rushing so nobody sees me break down.  Instead I walked slowly, looked at the sky, counted the stairs as I walked down, found myself humming my newest favorite song.

I'm getting there. I can see actual progress in myself. I will never again be the person I was before Sue died.  I'm working on becoming somebody even better.


  1. You are such a loving, kind person, Andi... it's hard to believe that you could become "better" than you are. But, I can see that is where you're headed. It is so good to see you becoming stronger and happier.

  2. Also, was this pic taken on Frank's sister's birthday? Please email it to me. :)