Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Still Working On It

I started back into grief counseling yesterday after having taken the summer off. I almost didn't go because I've been doing pretty well and why would I want to talk about my grief when I can just not think about it?  Within the first five minutes I realized that I absolutely needed to be there.  As much as I want to be completely fine, I'm not. I am still struggling. I might still be struggling for a long time.

The act of starting over with a new counselor caused the need for me to tell my story from the beginning.  It feels like it's a movie I've seen, or that I'm describing something I witnessed happening to somebody else. I was surprised at how much I cried.

But as I walked the now familiar path back to my car after the appointment, I realized that I am no longer rushing so nobody sees me break down.  Instead I walked slowly, looked at the sky, counted the stairs as I walked down, found myself humming my newest favorite song.

I'm getting there. I can see actual progress in myself. I will never again be the person I was before Sue died.  I'm working on becoming somebody even better.


4 comments:

  1. You are such a loving, kind person, Andi... it's hard to believe that you could become "better" than you are. But, I can see that is where you're headed. It is so good to see you becoming stronger and happier.

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  2. Also, was this pic taken on Frank's sister's birthday? Please email it to me. :)

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