Wednesday, February 17, 2016

A Good Day, With a Side of Grief

My day was great. I got so much done. I went grocery shopping, went to the gym and did Aqua Zumba, and got a ton of things crossed off of my to-do list. I made really good food choices that included a nice salad for lunch.

The difficult part to my day came in the form of a hidden grief land mine. I was looking through Facebook posts and saw something someone else posted that reminded me of a conversation Sue and I had. This person happened to use the exact phrasing Sue used in our conversation.

Just like that, the tears were flowing. The "why can't I have my sister back?" thoughts flooded my brain. I was taken right back to what it felt like to have her in my life. She always had my back, she always made me laugh. There is now and always will be a big Sue-sized hole in my heart. She was a small person physically, but that hole is HUGE.

It hurts. It's not fair. I'm angry.

It was a good day overall, but the pain of grief knocked me down this evening, and I need some time to rest and process it.

Have a good evening, I'll check in again tomorrow.

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